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Sunday, May 1, 2005
Entry Number One
Its exactly 4:35 a.m right now, and im at my friend mitchell's house. Ive decidedto stay up all night because i need some time to think about where my life is headed...
So, im going to write a story
He sat in his room, the noises of the house seemed to disapeer as the boy just sat, there, alone, in his room. He had his cat with him , and was gently petting it, from the top of its head to the tip of his tail, and again. He liked being alone with his cat, especially when the things of his life just seem to be going wrong. He has never really known the truth of his life, and he almost dosent want to find out about it. His parents got a divorce when he was 2, and he now lives with his dad, 603 miles away from his mom, and he, his dad, is re-married. He dosent mind his new life, or how he had left his mom at age 13 to live with his father,, he just told himself that he needed something different than what he had in his mother's arms. But he does miss those arms, and he did then, as the warm tears ran down his nose and onto the cat's dark fur. He hadnt seen his mom in almost a year, and he had to listen to the heated arguments between his biological parents on an almost regular basis, and how, he felt, everything would be better if he just hadn't ever lived. But, that would never happen, he has blinded out all of his mistrust with schoolwork, and hobbies. He has no time between work, school and his girlfriend to even sit and think about what is going wrong with everyone else. He has become self-centered, and self-aware, and he dosen't mind knowing it. If he did know, though, why he had to feel the way that he did, why he could see himself falling down what seemed to be an endless void, full of critisism and self doubt. He laughed to himself, this is all crazy. The cat looked up to him and meowed, he had stopped petting the cat to wipe his eyes, and the cat knew he wasn't in the best of moods. He wished that he could have the one thing that would make all of the pains in his life go away. He relies on his girlfriend though. She treats him with respect, and love shim to the very last drop. Despite every character flaw the boy posses, the girl wouldn't want him any other way. He layed down, and the cat curled up next to his armpit, it was sad how even the smallest and dumbest of creatures could crave the same attention he did, and somehow receive it more often and in fuller ways than him... He hated how the cat had no wories or obligations, and how the cat could just lay around and sleep all day. He wants to not have anything weighing him down anymore. He takes days off of school, and work, because he wants to lay down, and just feel like he is free. he dosen't want to be on his sisters schedule anymore or have to ring oup another gricerie at the store he hates so much. If only he could have that one potion in all the fairy tale stories, the one that would grant him the perfect life, and the perfect fantasies within it. I bet it would taste horrible though, and im sure most people couldn't hold it down. This story seems to have switched to me talking instead of the boy, but truth be told, i am the boy.. so what.
Im tired, but icant go to sleep now, noone is here to wake me up in time to go to church with my girlfriend. I dont like going to church that much, but it does allow me to share something with her, and it provides some more time to see her beautiful eyes, and hold her gentle hand.. But before i get all mushy, I'd like to give a final word...
Take life and keep it stored away in your pocket, because when you are at work, or school, being a human robot, you arent alive... Safe the peices of life that you can hold onto and share them with someone special and someone you love, because why let such a great thing go to waste, on something you'd rather not remember..
Because in death, all we are, are the memories that people keep of us, not the possesions we give away.
Im very tired now, and its 4:50 now.
Goodnight friends, and please, live well...
Kyle Coleman
Posted by toolfall
at 4:50 AM EDT
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